5 Things I Should Have Said

Job interviews – Love it or hate it, we’ve all got to go through it at some point in our lives.

Sitting in the interview room, there’s always a moment of silence where we all pray that whoever comes in through that door next would be a pleasant interviewer. The last thing we want adding to our already anxious situation is a nasty interviewer that is out to make your following 20 minutes or more a living nightmare.

Well, sometimes life hands you a punnet of sweet, juicy strawberries only to stomp them into pulp right before your eyes.

Yes, ladies and gents, I sat through the worst job interview of my young adult life to which I felt like an unknowing participant being critiqued by a very catty RuPaul panel. While I can’t say that I had defended myself like I wanted to, I now know that I should have just stood up and quote Katy Perry – ‘Swish Swish, bish.’.

Now, before we begin, here’s a little background. The job interview I went for was for the role of a Digital Marketing Executive. It was with a tourism board for a country that rhymes with a long gong. Though my respect for this tourism board was thrown out of the 34th floor window they’re set up on, I still love the country they represent and it will still remain my ideal vacation destination. There were 2 interviewers who conducted the interview. One was a fairly neutral representative while the other thought she was a real housewife interviewing a lowly person for the position of housekeeper.

Though I can’t re-do what’s already passed, here are the 5 things that had me wishing I had done something instead of being afraid to offend them (since they clearly had no mutual respect).

1. She enters the interview room with such an unhappy expression that I thought someone stole the last donut she wanted.

What I wanted to say: Well, look who woke up the wrong side of the bed. I’m sorry hunny, am I making you waste precious time to interview me? Don’t take it out on me – take it up with your HR executive.

What I should have said: Hi, is this a bad time for the interview? Perhaps I could come back another day that is suitable.

2. Wrongly states my duration at my job to which I politely corrected her. She condescendingly replies: Oh-so you’ve been with your current job just 2 years… well, it’s not like it’s 20 years.”

What I wanted to say: How ’bout that! You CAN count! If anybody stays in their job for 20 years, they won’t be looking around for an executive job. Besides, isn’t it your responsibility to state the facts from the resume correctly?

What I should have said: Though 2 years isn’t 20 years, an enthusiastic attitude is not something that can be defined by time.

3. After I explain the similarities between my current position and the position that they’re hiring. As if I annoyed her a GREAT deal, she replies: “Yeah, yours is just 1 market. Ours is 5 markets in the region.”

What I wanted to say: Yes, I think I heard your colleague loud and clear. Calm yourself lady. I am not saying that your ‘5 markets’ are so small that I can handle it easily. I’m merely saying that I have experience in working with in-house teams. It’s not my fault you’ve already created your own judgement before actually interviewing me with an open mind.

What I should have said: Yes, I understand that. But I am merely stating the similarities in the process.

4. Frowning is the new black, or at least for the entire time she was interviewing me.

What I wanted to do: Stand up from my seat and say, “Bye Felicia.”

What I should have done: Look at her directly and said. “This obviously isn’t a good time to conduct the interview and I feel that whatever transpires here will not be treated seriously. As such, I think it’s best that we continue this at a more preferable time.”

5. Condescending tone whenever she talks to me. Disrespecting me as a human being with her incredibly judgmental descriptions. Wait a minute – am I here for an interview or here to be critiqued by someone who doesn’t know me?

What I wanted to say: Hey miss, I think you better check your attitude at the door. If you think I am SO under-qualified for this job, you could politely inform me. Or, better yet, screen my resume AGAIN before calling me down for the interview! Don’t make it seem like I dragged you out from your cubicle or office and forced you to interview me. It is highly unprofessional on your part as your higher than thou personality is not for your place of work.

What I should have said: I’m sorry but I would like to end this interview. I do not appreciate being talked down and disrespected as a candidate. I will withdraw my interest in this position.

With that said, this is definitely an unpleasant lesson that I learnt which did open my eyes to certain companies and their interview procedure. Though some might argue that this isn’t the worse they’ve heard about, this definitely threw me off my game.

If you talk to me like a haughty rich lady would to a Chanel retail assistant during an interview, you can keep the position and shove it up where the sun don’t shine.

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Thoughts on the Manchester Arena Explosion

After reading about the horrifying incident in Manchester, I needed to get this off my chest and apologies to anyone who might get offended or annoyed with me for this!

Going to a concert is meant to be a fun thing to do with your friends and family.

When have events that were meant to be memorable become a weapon against humanity? What has made the human race so hateful against one another that devious ideas such as these are thought up to bring harm to people? At the end of the day, what is achieved? Instant vengeance? A few weeks of notoriety? A supposed acceptance of superiority?

While there are a million excuses a hateful human being can come up with to defend their actions, one thing is certain – innocent lives are taken and ruined in the process.

Knowing that majority of the concert-goers were pre-teens, teens and young adults, it got me thinking about how the young ones would handle this traumatic experience.

I’m a 26 year old living in Asia and I cannot even bring myself to imagine how it would have felt to be 12 again in a horrific scenario such as this. What had meant to be a fun night to remember is suddenly turned into a night that can’t be forgotten. I’ve seen photos on Twitter of young concert-goers who had blood on their shirt and hair. The amount of shock and fear these young ones had to experience is simply unimaginable.

I love attending concerts as they’ve always been a magical and memorable experience. To see experiences like this taken as a target of attack for hateful beings to radicalize their beliefs makes me absolutely disgusted. No child, woman or man should have to have their experience sullied by another human being who values the right to hurt others.

My heart goes out to all who have been affected in this horrifying incident.

Recuperate and stand strong.

Do not let a person or group’s reprehensible actions forever change the way you experience life.

Do not apologize or be guilty for having fun on a night out.

Do not let the perpetrator’s dastardly deed be the barrier between you and life’s offers.

Stay strong guys; the world is with you.

The Woes of Being a Wallflower

Wallflower: Someone who sees and knows things but is typically out of the limelight because, well, they’re shy.

I’m from an all-girls Catholic primary and secondary school (elementary and high school). I spent about 11 years of my life in a trendy blue-and-white uniform surrounded by dozens of popularity-hungry girls as I navigated through the academic chapter of my childhood.

My decision to become a Wallflower came when I was about 9 years old.

I had been a Regina George in primary school with a haughty attitude to match. Many of my classmates started spreading rumors about me being a bossy person and pretty soon, schoolmates whom I’m not even acquainted with were judging me. Because of this sudden blow, I had started to re-program my attitude while building a way of blending into the background. It worked so well that even my teachers started to notice less and less of me in a classroom setting.

Don’t get me wrong – being a Wallflower has its perks. Teachers think of you as quiet and obedient, while mean girls generally can’t see you. It’s a win-win situation if I might say so for myself. But even with its upside, there is a down-side.

And that is: You almost always turn out socially awkward.

My Wallflower abilities had developed so well that I even had an issue with keeping eye contact in a conversation. It plagued me for 6 years until I turned 14 years old and figured that talking to a future employer’s forehead was grounds for permanent unemployment.

I’ve never been in a relationship nor do I have any close guy friends. My closest friends are females but unlike me, they’ve had no trouble approaching the opposite sex. My mom had always told me that I’d eventually make more male friends when I started teen Catechism but the Wallflower side of me still prevailed. I skipped social gatherings which included church camps and field trips even though it would have been the perfect place to make a friend or two.

I’m 26 now and being a Wallflower is still in my nature. Social settings have gotten less awkward but the cautious Wallflower side of me still keeps an eye on the situation and the coziest corner away from the life of the party. I’ve started using dating apps to break out of my socially awkward shell but though the profile has been set up a week ago; I’ve not initiated a like on any prospective male profile.

At this rate, I’m starting to think that I might just end up with a house full of dogs named after celebrity men who I’ve dated in my dreams. Good boy, DiCaprio!

How to get noticed by Darth Vader & his Stormtroopers in Hong Kong Disneyland

So, you’re at Tomorrowland in Hong Kong Disneyland when you catch a glimpse of a black cape flow right pass you.

You do a double take and lo-and-behold, it’s the Sith Lord of your dreams (or nightmares), Darth Vader. He’s flanked by his Stormtroopers marching on while a crowd of park goers gather around them.

You frantically check the map for character greetings but there is no mention of it. So, do you ditch the map and follow blindly or wait around to see what happens?

If pick waiting around to see what happens, congratulations, you just lost your shot at a photo opportunity with the Dark One.

The unique thing about character meetings like this is they are roving acts with absolutely no real photo opportunities. The only chance you’re going to get a photo with them is if you follow them closely and pray to the mighty Yoda that they pick you.

Yes, you read that right. Darth Vader and his Stormtroopers are the ones with the power to make or break your day. They are the ones who will either spare your feelings or destroy them with the power of a Death Star.

To help you secure your prized photo, here’s what you need to do.

(1) Follow them no matter where they roam. This is absolutely crucial. You need to be with the group of people that surrounds them. Only then will they be able to see you, and possibly select you. Even if you don’t get selected, persevere on to their next spot with them.

(2) Use the Force to obtain a prominent spot. Be in their line of sight, or at least tower over the kid that’s in front of you. You want to get selected, you’ve got to be where they can see you. So, if that means shoving someone behind so you can stand before them – do it.

(3) Raise your hand as high as you can, and look as if you’ve just successfully commandeered the Millennium Falcon. The more excited you are, the more likely they’ll pick you.

(4) If excitement didn’t work, try showing off those Star Wars merch. Yes, a park-goer got selected because of her Captain Phasma phone case that she frantically waved in front of them.

(5) Have a cheer squad that can shout as loud as a Tie-Fighter. It’s the only time when you can put your friends or family to good use. Get them to point at you while shouting for their attention. It worked for the kids so it might just work for you.

(6) Now, if all three methods above don’t work, it’s time to pull out the ultimate method – look absolutely desperate. That’s right, put on that sad look on your face and show them how much you want that darn photo. I am proud to say that though this method is probably the last resort, it is a proven method that works. I used this method when the Stormtroopers picked the kids over me. As hope turned to desperation (which probably showed clearly on my face), Darth Vader himself looked and pointed at me for that coveted photo op.

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It all pays off. ©Jasmine Ong